Night Driving

I rather be flying a real spaceship

like the ones in Star Wars,

the real one, than this low flying

car, at ninety miles an hour

chasing the tail light of a sports

car, which look like a spaceship,

and the oncoming headlights
filled up the space like Milky Way,

at least, I know I am still in the right

Galaxy, for now.

The Game of Golf

The only club that people used to know,
in those living in the cave days,
was a big piece of wood,

big enough, to hit an attacking 

animal, be it a lion or a tiger. 

In these golfing days, the club 

is a piece of metal, big enough, 

to hit a little white ball, and
the only attacking animal comes from within, 

the voice which kept yelling:

Danger! There is water 

in front of the green!

Las Vegas Resident

You know you finally become

a resident, of this famous city,

famous for its trillion neon lights,

scantly dressed sexy dancers,

bottomless mug of alcohol
of any kind, when your wallet becomes

thicker, not because of winning 

from the house owned slots, the house
owned black jacks nor

the house owned roulette.  It is filled with
reward cards from 168 supermarket,
the regal movie theater

with recliner seats, the car wash place
which gives you a free car wash on your birthday. 

Such, my friend, is a winner.

Where do prayers go?

When we throw a ball up 

It drops to the ground

When we drop an anchor 

It sinks into the water

Sometimes when we pray

When a child was slashed to dead

Where do prayers go?

We cry until there is no sound

We punch until the fist is broken

We kick until we cannot lift the leg

We drop to the ground

supinate and offer 

Where do prayers go?

I look up and ask the star afar

I look up and ask the Almighty

I look up and ask again

Where do prayers go?

Lonely Day

Wandering what to do next

I asked the swirling wind
in this casino desert

Should I go out for a walk?

Should I go for a movie?

Still afraid that walking outside

will just be me and the shadow

Still afraid that watching a movie
will be me and the image on screen 

I sat and do nothing

Wandering how can I add
some flavor to this life

A Lazy Afternoon

Seeing nothing and nothing,

as if my vision vanished,
fifty four years after birth, I surrender

to what life wants to do.

I straighten myself, in this lazy

afternoon, when my wife sleeps 

and I, fifty four years after birth,

stay awake to sign in.

Signing in is now a routine, for flights
twenty four hours later, 

and me, fifty four years after birth,

is getting used to.

The recurrent question is,
is life better for us as a race, I am thinking,

fifty fours years after birth, for
an answer to be dropped to me.

Maybe I really need to let go,
with answer or not,
even if I have to wait,
another fifty four years.

DMV 2

I do not understand 

about the move to this city,

full of hiccups along the way,

causing me to doubt, like the roulette
gambler, about choices

I made, causing me to come again,

for a mis-spelled name that I missed,
BENAMIN is certainly different
than BENJAMIN, where

the J is needed if you want to win 

a royal flush. Such is how
I was welcomed to this

city, visiting their motor vehicle

department again, like a lover
who left the wallet behind.

My Walden

Parting with the world we know,

I drove into the wild world

of Red Rock Canyon,

to the west of all the neon lights,

secluded,

as if purposely,

as if drawing the line.

You do not gamble here with chips

and dice and beer,

gamble with your steps,
your breath, your pounding heart
and sore thighs,

as if reminding us,

live with yin and yang

and stay young.

DMV

I can see blackness,
darkness, emptiness.

I have no direction, I am blind.

That is what I chose to be,

after seeing the long line,

which means long waiting time,

which means panic.

I am still not used to waiting

even for necessary evils

like a driver's license and car registration 

in this modern world, blind sometimes

to what is basic and necessary.

Jet Lag

And I am scared

Scared to even exhale

Not wanting to wake them up

My brain cells, muscle cells,

And every cell that is responsible

For my living, as if they are

In a very bad mood due to

Lack of sleep and lost

Of rhythm, the very rhythm

To differentiate night and day

I am Bo

With excitement

I am always jumping up and down

When I see you walking down

 The stairs or coming home

I am a new friend to you

In this city of casinos

I love it when you caress me

Like a feather duster you said

I lick you like a candy cane

As if your sweat is a drop of melting 

ice cream in this hot Spring day

In Las Vegas, Nevada

Hemorrhoid

Making me want to see more

About life and pain

About life and fear

That's what I learned:

Face your fear squarely 

In front of the mirror

Like trying to squeeze a pimple

Flat out

Not to be afraid anymore

The Meaning of Life

Last night

I asked that question again

Like keeping a secret 

As if someone will steal it

As if speaking about it

Will make it evaporate 

Through the cheers after a drink

The second hand smoke
Mixed with the scream of a slot machine 

In those high heels and exposed

Body parts,

In those dancing hips they call sinful

Rolling the dice in the baccarat table

Asking greater powers

For an answer 

New Life

A new life in a new city

Needs something familiar

I hit the greens

Not the kind you trade for chips

In a casino

The ones where you have to pitch

A ball with a club

Walking

And tossing some greens into the air

Feeling at home in an instant 

Up in the Air

Airplane life can be simple

Chicken or pasta?

Airplane life can be simple

Window or aisle?

It is in trips like this

You remember the lesson

Lighten your baggage

It is in trips like this

You remember another lesson

Travel when young 

Airplane life
can be simple

Peanuts?

Reunion

Reminding me of yesterday

Yesterday was just

Twenty years ago

Old memories brought

Sweet and comfort laugh

To this day when we talk

Not about living

But the other way

Holding Hands

         - to papa

I hold your hand

As you walk with shuffling gait

For the first time

All these fifty four years

At least that's what I

Remember 

Together

We visited the old house

Making peace

For you

For me

For all

South China Sea

I want to stand by the shoreline

For you are the witness

The messenger

Between my grandfather and his father

Between my grandfather and his dreams

Many things happened

Many tears were shed

I'm sure he stood by the beach

Many times

Looking for a message

In a bottle from home

For courage and comfort

Vigan 2

At the end of the day

Happy to be here at my father's birthplace

Listened to many stories

Trying to put one piece of puzzle next to another 

Like pieces of a broken jar

Which carried the spirit of grandpa

Something I tried to absorb

As I try to memorize each street

Florentino, Bonifacio, Luna

Rizal, Crisologo, Quirino

Like a checker board in my heart

To play the game of missing home

When I speak English again

I am going back with my pockets full

Of memories and warm hospitality

Run

Enough to lean forward

Breaking the wall of air

Allowing the wind to push my hair and sweat back

As I huff and puff

With my heart knocking at my sternum

As if complaining out loud

You crazy lad

Marathon days are over!

Traffic, Manila Style

How far are we from home?

It is just a series of stop and go,

jerking me forward, backward, side ways, 

like the rides in Universal Studios,

with the usual themes of snaking 

motorcycle, colorful jeepney, 

high pitch horns, familiar diesel 

smell, causing me to have a relapse

of my vertigo.

The world spinning without my permission 

The Meet Up

The spirits here are alive and kicking

Tying a face to a name

Tying a name to a voice

Tying a voice to a smile

Tying a smile to an impression

To be used to feel

Each and every post

Now and beyond

Match Play

I swing my club well

Not only to win

Also to erase humility

Erase what laughter they stick to me

I will stick the golf ball into

The hole

To make a hole in his heart

With a win

And let him whine again

Against himself and his pride

And hide for a while

While I lick my putter

After the last putt 

China Doll

Maybe it is lifetimes ago,

we decided to meet again,

such familiar feel and smile,

in this foreign city to you

and not too foreign to me.

I know that feel

where we wish time will stand still

and it did,

except my hearing loss

spoiled all the fun,

but still, I came home not only

with those heavy books you

gave me, also a very heavy

imprint in one part of my heart,

China doll.

Manila

Slowly 

My body settles

To the rhythm of this city

Slow, fast, jerky, wait,

Stop and go

Learning patient

And the art of siesta
Among the cars stuck

In traffic

I am Rain

I slap the drops on the roof 

Like morse code

Telling you again

That's the only way we communicate 

Every time you come home

Which took you

Twenty four hours

Door to door

You asked me, my grandson

To lead you on this upcoming trip

Where I settled for years

Where your father was born

Where the old house still stood there 

Reminding you and your father

We were once

Very successful 

And I will